V for Voluptuous
My last shift was surprisingly eventful. I was standing around in Betty's 1 as usual. I was minding my own business to the best of my ability and spitting out lines (taglines that is) like I was Mos Def on an open mic. Then all of the sudden it seemed that my day would be ruined. Three young teenage girls came sauntering through the door. Their sex appeal was practically steaming off their bodies. Those old feelings I used to have began to surface. Miley Cyrus' racy photos began to flash before my eyes as sweat dripped from my brow...............haha that was a joke. I'm no child molester. I do own a Hannah Montana poster but I can't control whose music rocks my face off, so my bad.
Anyway, three young teenage girls did come in, actually about ten thousand teenage girls came in but this is about these three in particular. Among these three, was the dreaded fat friend. The fat friend, regardless of the situation, is never a person you want to run into. At a bar she'll most likely be cock blocking you. Cut in line at a buffet and she'll be the one shanking you. At Hollister she'll be the one tunneling to the bottom of a pile of clothes looking for one of three Large's that Hollister puts on the floor. In her wake will be stretched out tank tops, crumpled cardigans, and the same old complaint she shells out every time she comes into the store.
"Ugh this store doesn't have clothes for normal sized people"
Actually we do carry clothes for normal sized people, we just mark it XL. No one ever claimed the store's clothes sizing was legit, it's actually pretty retarded. We do not however make clothes for fat people, like you. So what you should have said is something along the lines of....
"Boy maybe I should stop spending all my money in the mall food court so I can one day spend money at Hollister, I'm so tired of shopping at Sears! They don't have a cool soundtrack featuring Metro Station, you know? The band with Miley Cyrus' older brother! They rock! Boy I want some cheese fries. No wait, stay strong, one day I'll fit into this shirt. Nine years from now Hollister is gonna be my bitch. Man I'm hungry. Do you think they get pissed when I toss all these clothes on the floor?"
Yes, we do get pissed. But where was I? Oh yeah. Despite her complaints, she will still rifle through every pile of clothes she sees looking for something that might fit her. The search is furious. She must find that top that will fit. She won't go home empty handed, not this time. It's so heartbreaking for her to watch her skinny friends buy clothes while she stands there alone looking at the Metro Station CD below the cash register. Alas, that magical top that slipped by inspection after the exhausted Thai child laborer added an extra seven inches of fabric didn't make it to this store. Some other Shoney's regular in another part of the country will be enjoying that shirt.
After it becomes apparent to the fat girl that she won't find her miracle shirt she then goes onto Plan B. Plan B is two fold.
Part 1: Find a cute shirt for her friends. This is important for her because she wants to stay involved in the shopping process. Not only does she want to find a cute shirt for her friends, she wants to find it before they do. This is because she can then point out afterwards (often) that she picked out that shirt for them. Making it look like she has great fashion sense. This false illusion of great fashion sense can then further validate her claims (at least in her own mind) that Hollister does not make clothes for normal (fat) people.
Part 2: This part is more my own theory than proven scientific fact like what is written above. Part 2 involves trashing the store. During the frantic search for her friend's shirt she is tossing clothes about left and right. She wants to trash the store to take revenge on all the evil people that work there, secretly conspiring to make clothes that don't fit her thus ruining her body image.
There might be some validity to the smaller clothes=body image problems=low self-esteem=evil corporation. However throwing those clothes on the floor for minimum wage workers to clean isn't exactly sticking it to man. That's like punching the gas station attendant after 9/11. If she really wanted to make a difference she'd send a letter bomb to Abercrombie&Fitch HQ.
Sometimes the fat girl will find a shirt for her friend. Sometimes she won't. But the odyssey that is a fat girl shopping at Hollister always ends one of two ways.
1) She stands there empty handed watching her friends buy clothes while she eyes the Metro Station CD and talks about the great sales and surprisingly nice clothing line at Sears.
2)She buys a hat.
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14 comments:
Haha, That was funny && i agree. i know a few of those girls...
I shop at hollister alot. and evertime i go there i have to look at snotty nose girls and boys that think that they are coool cause they work at a popular retail store. you are indeed the biggeest bitch i have ever came across. dont judge people you dont know. your mom should fucking smack you. wow. learn respect towards others feeling.
hahahahahah! well said. i'm a dude, i work at hollister, this is all true.
sweetheart, you work at a retail store. your not all that, get over yourself
I see alot of negative comments on this. While it is a stereotype to put all overweight young women into this category. There is definitely some truth behind it. Speaking as someone who's worked there, certain people who don't fit the demographic, literally and figuratively, will sometimes take offense. This, more often than not, is projected outward by use of verbal slander, etc. Also, by physically disturbing the space around them, e.i.: Rifling through clothes, to further display frustration which ultimately stems from their own internal frustration of being overweight. So while on the surface this article seems to convey a negative tone. When taking a closer look it is essentially correct.
So of course I'll eventually get the same recycled comment about how I'm wrong. Blah, blah. I've experienced this first hand and found it to be entirely true.
haha love it dude, keep these posts coming. they're great humor for the everyday hollister employee, like me. let the haters hate, it's their job.
like someone else commenteed u work at a retail store that sells ugly clothes ur not all that actully ur not at all im thin but b considrerate i bet ull neva find another job and have 2 work at hollister 4 the rest of ur life so b nicer. BTW it was funny but mean
I personally thought this was hilarious!!! it is so true alos. all the fat girls come in and they try to fit into the hollister clothes. once i went into hollister and i tryed on a shirt and it wasall streched out. so i got the same size in the same shirt and it fit.. this coment could be mean but i mean seriously if your fat go shop at walmart or something.. your already ugly go put on ugly clothes
dude your the funniest person ever! and people need to stop hatin on you there just stupid. cuz you are sooo funny and i think that that is the truest statement ever. once i saw this really fat chick and she was trying to put on the cclothes and she got stuck so they had to like cut the clothing item off her and then she had to pay for it.. like why would they even do it. if you hold the shirt in front of you and your fat shows from behind the shirt then you should try it on! wow fat people try to be so skinny when in reality they obviously arent
woww. that is one disgusting remark I have never been overweight myself but, would NEVER slander someone for body image.
Wow, people like you is exactly why so many girls have self-esteem issues. Not all girls are "fat" from overeating, you know. But people like you make it hard for them to lose weight. Because as soon as they try to go out for a run or something, bitches like you make fun of them. It must be nice to be so perfect. I guess it's better to be anorexic to please people like you.
Also, AWWWW you have to fix clothes that get messed up? How terrible that you have to actually work at your job, huh? I'll make sure to be extra destructive the next time I'm dragged into this store if any of the workers are anything like you.
Wow...The only people that do like these posts are the ones who do work at Hollister... The irony is killing me. I never was Hollister's 'biggest' fan but I'm seriosly never shopping there again. Between that interview with the creater of Abercrombie, and this crap, I'm just so done... Sad, really.
Problem is if everyone is wearing a designer range it is no longer exclusive so people are less will to pay the high prices charger. Most people have tagged onto the fact that you can but just one or two tops etc and wear them forever more. So à lot of people can afford designer stuff these days. So the question becomes, if that is the case who do you exclude. Fat people are the obvious choice, fat bulging out of clothes is particularly unsightly, oversized clothes that look like the person is wearing à tent is little better. The thing is here is that the fat chick is upset as she is the one heing excluded when really she wants to be in with the excluders, shes got the money but unfortunately no longer good enough to make it into the 'in' crowd. Nothing more funnier than à fat chick who wants to exclude others being excluded herself. Its all about image of the product and many designer labels are discovering a fat chick bulging out of their clothing is doing their design image no favours, its just not worth trashing their image for the extra market share, or they lose the lot.
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